U.S. Chart Roundup: Michael Jackson Lands His First Top 40 Hit In Eight Years

It's a quick roundup today, because D'luv's got some last-minute holiday shopping to do down at Hooker Central. And speaking of which, by now you've probably seen Enrique's Iglesias' raunchy video for "Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)"? If not, watch here (and wear protection). The song itself climbs to #13 on this week's Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Just underneath Enrique in the video is a pile of strippers. But beneath Enrique on the chart, at #16, is Edward Maya and Vika Jigulina's "Stereo Love." At first I kind of dismissed this single as a useless trash, but I have to admit that it's hypnotized me at this point and made me love it. Well, okay—like it. When I decipher whatever the hell it is that broad is saying in the lyrics, then maybe I'll love it.

With "Hold My Hand" now up to #39, Michael Jackson lands his first Top 40 hit this week since "Butterflies" reached #14 in 2002. Over in the UK, EEEEEEEEEE-Heeeeeee!!!! fares even better, as "Hold My Hand" is currently at #10. I'm currently obsessed with "Monster" off Michael (which debuts at #3 on the Top 200 album chart) myself. It's pretty much my jam du jour.

Two notable debuts: Pink's Max Martin/Shellback-produced "Fuckin' Perfect" goes in at #86, making it the third song on the chart with the ultimate four-letter word in the title (after the naughty version of Enrique's "Tonight" and Cee Lo Green's Grammy nominated "Fuck You"). Meanwhile Mariah Carey's "Oh Santa!" finally crawls into the chart, at #100.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "Firework" - Katy Perry *3 weeks*
2. "Grenade" - Bruno Mars
3. "What's My Name" - Rihanna feat. Drake
4. "Raise Your Glass" - Pink
5. "We R Who We R" - Ke$ha 
6. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
7. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna 
8. "The Time (The Dirty Bit)" - The Black Eyed Peas 
9. "6 Foot 7 Foot" - Lil Wayne feat. Cory Gunz *new*
10. "Just A Dream" - Nelly

Was Mariah Carey Actually Singing On The 'Christmas In Rockefeller Center' Special?

Below is a video of Mariah Carey "singing" her XXXmas jam "Oh Santa" on the Christmas In Rockefeller Center special that aired on NBC last night (watch Kylie Minogue, Susan Boyle, Jackie Evancho and Annie Lennox here).

At first I had my doubts that Mimi was actually doing this song live, but upon another viewing it seems she was maybe at least doing a bit of ad-libbing over a tape. Either way, she opened the show and it was still a fun, energetic spectacle.

What do you think? Was the Original Chart Rigger pulling a fast one by mouthing the words to her Merry Christmas II You tune?

It's Kylie Minogue Performing On NBC's 'Christmas At Rockefeller Center' Special

A bunch of pop dames like Kylie Minogue, Mariah Carey, Susan Boyle, Sheryl Crow, Annie Lennox and 10-year-old Pittsburgh native (hometown represent!) Jackie Evancho crooned away  during the annual NBC Christmas At Rockefeller Center tree-lighting special.

And, yeah—Mimi was totally lip-syncing. But I love her pregnant ass anyway.

U.S. Chart Roundup: Is Anyone Really Going To Remember Rihanna's "What's My Name"?

Rihanna's "What's My Name" has now become her eighth #1 single on the Billboard Hot 100. I guess Drake's on there too. (Why does he always sound so depressed?) In the grand scheme of memorable Rihanna singles, this one kind of feels like her "This Used To Be My Playground" or "Thank God I Found You". You'll always kind of know it reached the top of the chart, but recalling a line from the song other then "Oh, na na" 10 years from now will prove to be impossible for anyone other than Ri Ri stans.

And speaking of Mariah Carey, her Merry Christmas II You album didn't exactly set the world on fire, but it did debut at #4 on the Top 200. I actually thought it would have come in much lower, given that she really only did two or three TV show appearances to promote it.

Crazy-ass Mimi. Have you checked out her version of "The First Noel"? It sounds like she's bouncing up and down on a Cristal-flavored popsicle while she's singing. Enough with the vocal runs, hooker. Just sing the damn song.

Other than that, the only thing worth mentioning is that New Queen Of Soul Ke$ha rolls into the Hot 100 at #51 with her touching ballad "Sleazy" like a barrel full of mangy crack whores missing a tooth or four.

The U.S. Top 10:

1. "What's My Name" - Rihanna feat. Drake *1 week*
2. "Like A G6" - Far*East Movement
3. "Just The Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
4. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Rihanna
5. "We R Who We R" - Ke$ha
6. "Just A Dream" - Nelly
7. "Raise Your Glass" - Pink
8. "Bottoms Up" - Trey Songz feat. Nicki Minaj
9. "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love" - Usher feat. Pitbull
10. "Firework" - Katy Perry

Mariah Carey Gives The Gift Of Her "Oh Santa!" Music Video

Now that the cat's out of the bag that Mariah Carey is pregnant, she's in full-on promotion mode for her holiday LP Merry Christmas II You. The set of yuletide tunes was released today and is currently nestled a ho-ho-hookertastic #6 on iTunes.

Here's the official music video for the album's official single, "Oh Santa!" It finds MC heading up what looks like an old-school Motown Revue, complete with Temptations-style dancers with afros twirling around in the background.

I've said it before—"Oh Santa!" is no "All I Want For Christmas Is You," but it's still a surprisingly damn good time.

Bowlful Of Jelly Mariah Carey Unwraps 'Merry Christmas II You' Tracklist

Mariah Carey put a bow on her Merry Christmas II You tracklist, inhaled a plate of sugar cookies with an eggnog chaser and posted the song titles on her website yesterday.

The fact that she's doing "Charlie Brown Christmas" makes me happy. That said, who knows what that is? There isn't an actual song called "Charlie Brown Christmas" on the Vince Guaraldi Trio A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack.

But there is "Christmas Time Is Here," and of all the holiday songs in the world, it's the Charlie Browniest.



1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Intro)
2. Oh Santa!
3. O Little Town of Bethlehem / Little Drummer Boy Medley
4. Christmas Time Is In The Air Again
5. The First Noel / Born is the King (Interlude)
6. When Christmas Comes
7. Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane) / Housetop Celebration
8. Charlie Brown Christmas
9. O Come All Ye Faithful / Hallelujah Chorus feat. Patricia Carey
10. O Holy Night - Live from WPC in South Central Los Angeles
11. One Child
12. All I Want for Christmas is You - Extra Festive
13. Auld Lang Syne - The New Year's Anthem 

Mimi's single "Oh Santa!" is out this coming Tuesday (October 12).

Mariah Carey Just Stuffed My Stocking Good With "Oh Santa!"

Lambs, start bleeting—the bitch is back! Mariah Carey's "Oh Santa!", the first single off her upcoming Merry Christmas II You holiday cash-in album, is her absolute best single since "We Belong Together" and that other good one she recorded sometime over the past 20 years.

And let's all take a minute to commend David LaChapelle, who did a superb job Photoshopping an entire extra Mimi off Mariah on the sleeve.



Still not as jolly as "All I Want For Christmas Is You" (that's the other one I was thinking of), but it comes damn close.

Mariah Carey's High Heels Couldn't Take It Anymore—She Falls In Singapore

Folks, let's just take a moment to contemplate something. This is Mariah Carey performing in Singapore on Saturday at a Formula 1 Grand Prix event.

And this is the cover of her upcoming holiday album, Merry Christmas II You.

Either this broad has at least two kids on the way, or she's been stress-eating ever since Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel was released DOA last year.

Anyway, Mimi took a spill last night while performing her 1992 hit "Make It Happen." The best part comes when she orders her personal slave to come on stage and remove her shoes right there in front of the audience.. The poor girl seems kind of stunned at Mariah's request, but it's best not to upset The Butterfly, chylde—otherwise it'll be the Decapitation Of Mimi's Assistant.


"We love her. She is a darling dear," Mariah says while the girl attempts to get the shoes out from under the diva. They're probably gonna find that assistant's lifeless corpse floating in the Kallang River by Thursday.

I'm Quoted In The 'Washington Post Express' Today

Thanks to D.C.-based XOLondon for pointing out that the Washington Post Express picked up on my Mariah Carey Merry Christmas II You writeup from yesterday.

I'm glad they're scouring only the classiest of sources for material. (You can find the blurb here on page 67.) Thanks, WP!

Whoever Photoshopped Mariah Carey's New Christmas Album Cover Deserves A Raise

When all else fails miserably, pop stars always have the inevitable Christmas album to fall back on. And this year, Mariah Carey will cash in on that safety net with her shameless Merry Christmas II You, the sequel to her 1994 hit album Merry Christmas.

Of course, the odds of the follow-up producing anything as rad as this classy jam are pretty slim:



Mimi's official site says the album will contain the usual Xmas covers ("Little Drummer Boy," "O Come All Ye Faithful"), a new version of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" (ghetto!) and four new songs, including a single called "Oh Santa."

I'm just wondering who the body double they hired for the cover image is.