For the past 4 days I've had this weird throbbing discomfort in my abdomen to the point where I thought a creature was going to bust out my gut like that dude on Spaceballs. Last night I got freaked out that my appendix was gonna burst shit all over my insides so I went to the Emergency room at 2:00 am. They hooked me up with a CAT scan - pumped my veins full of horseshit and cranked me through the microwave stargate machine. I could feel the contrast fluid go through my whole vascular system & when I went through the machine I felt a warm tingling sensation on the end of my dick like I was getting a badass hummer from a malfunctioning furby. Weirdest shit ever. So after 7 hours in the emergency room it turns out the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me and they think I may be passing a kidney stone cuz there's a tiny trace of blood in my piss. When I painfully pass this thing I'll be sure to scan it and post on the smearball. Now I pulled a shitty all nighter and I got tonnes of vizz to make today. What a waste of time.
